Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading So sick and tired of all the needless beating
Profile I felt that night, on the stage, incredibly close to everything in the universe, but also extremely alone. I wondered, for the first time in my life, if life was worth all the work it took to live. What exactly made it worth it? What’s so horrible about being dead forever, and not feeling anything, and not even dreaming? What’s so great about feeling and dreaming? — Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close Cravings Exits Songs Archives August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 November 2009 January 2010 February 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 December 2011 January 2012 June 2017 Credits ©Glamouresque.	Friday, October 31, 2008 Hmmz... Yesterday start sch at 1030am, finish lesson around 11pluz,went to outside sch slack. Around 12pluz, went to plaza sing acarde, took some neoprint. Around 4pluz took mrt back Bedok alone Home Sweet Home. Bath and eat my dumpling, walk to bus stop meet karhoon, took bus 67 to tamp mac meet Dom, Jon, Kennath, Ganpoh, Jinhao and kelvin, went to food court and have their dinner. After dinner, went to Century Square brought our ticket and went to acarde play awhile den went to watch out High School Musical 3. After watching took bus 69 back bedok and walk back home with Kelvin and Dom.Reach home around 10pm. I lazy to scan and upload the neoprint! Sorry. M i really extra??? I feel so extra when ever i with all my friend, ecp ite friend... ARRRHHH.. Tuesday, October 28, 2008 Im speechless. 請原諒我不成熟 Nothing i can say, i can only apologize to you. Im sorry! Du bu qi! Monday, October 27, 2008 Hmmz... Just come back home and just eaten my dinner! Wake up in the morning 9am, went downstairs help Jie jie brought noodles and brought a carrot cake for myself. Actually today didnt have the chance to watch connected becuase eddie they all going sing song, i got no money so i didnt go with them but suddenly they not gg sing le can go watch movie le. Meet karhoon 1145 and meet eddie 1230. Around 11pluz prepare and rush to bus stop meet karhoon took 67 to mrt platform outside took mrt to Ang mo kio meet eddie at control station. Reach Ang Mo Kio around 1250, went to cinema brought the last ticket 1250. Heng still got to watch. haha. Thiis song is damn nice, i never regret watching thiis. haha. Yeah, Firday going watch High School Musical 3 again with my sec sch friend. haha. After watching took mrt to orchard eat taiwan ice-kachang took mrt to bugis acarde, accampnmay eddie play tekken but den today is public holiday damn many ppl went to play acarde. After watching eddie and karhoon play tekken went to mos burger accampany eddie and karhoon eat, took mrt back Home Sweet Home with karhoon. Walk home with karhoon, reach home around 7pluz and have my dinner. Im damn hungry. I gtg study for tmr test. Buaii. Good luck everyone.=) Sunday, October 26, 2008 Just wake up and have my dinner! Today mummy apply leave, accampany Jiejie bring Jenson to kembangan "Yu Guo", awake by her at around 9am took bus to Bedok interchange and took bus 30 to kembangan. Damn many mother bring their daughter or son go there, we waited for so long finally our turn come. Around 12pm see finish, across over the road actually wanna took mrt go bugis pray and bugis junction buy my shirt den go home but Jenson no car, it very hard so went to the taxi stand and wait for a cab come and back Home Sweet Home. Reach home have my lunch, use comp watch Hot Shot went downstairs buy something up, lie on the bed play with Jenson till fall asleep! ARRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHHH... Human being will hate people that accuse them. IM A HUMAN BEING TOO! I'll feel hurt too, why must you scold till like that and keep accuse me! Why doesn't u go make thing clear before accuse me! I HATE PEOPLE THAT DOESN'T MAKE THING CLEAR KEEP ACCUSE ME, MISUNDERSTOOD ME & NOBODY BELIEVE ME! Why is there so many people keep accuse me and so many misunderstood thing happen in ITE between me & my ITE friend since the day i step into ITE! Nobody understand me! I got no friend when i need someone beside me but there is no one beside me and understand me! Haiiz! God, why must you like that to me! People keep scolding me like hell without leaving a thought for me! People keep accuse me and misunderstood me! My bestie is being snatch away by someone and why must every time wo bu xi huan de ren ta jiu appear infront me keep pesting me, wo xi huan de ren ta jiu shi xi huan WO DE PENG YOU! What a fcuk life i have! I WANNA GO DIE! I CAN GO DIE SUA. (SobSobSobSobSob) Saturday, October 25, 2008 Arrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!! Fcuk! I didn't even help her say word, the guest is really someone else! How u wan i explain den u will get it! Haiiz! Forget it! No use no matter how i explain now! Believe it or not up to u! Nevermind scold or say whatever u wan to say, it okkz! I cant take it! Why always u r the one that keep misunderstood me, not even u even my family and all the friends around me always misunderstand me too, never will they understand me! No matter how i explain get thing clear they wont understand, keep saying that is u! Why always i keep getting people misunderstood meeeeeeeeee! NOBODY WILL UNDERSTAND ME & BELIEVE ME! (Sob Sob Sob)! Friday, October 24, 2008 My styling hair. Thiis is the majong i took. I took thiis pic, while playing majong. Hmmz... Just eaten my dinner! Im so damn fcuking tired and sleepy, yesterday watch tv till 2pluz den fall asleep again. was awake by 7th floor aunty at 8am knock the door, reply back msg . lie on the bed cant open my eye keep wanna sleep, went back to sleep till around 930am wake up prepare and rush to sch! Reach sch around 1030, is already dismiss. lol. sit at class awhile jy and jan styling my hair. Took 222 back Bedok interchange went to taobao mac and eat in the bus, took bus87 to Sengkang Mall, shop around and wait for friends come and walk to her house, play majong with kj, jy and jan till around 5pluz went to NTUC they brought some tidbits, walk to took LRT back to Sengkang Mall and took bus 87 alone back Bedok Home Sweet Home. Wednesday, October 22, 2008 Hmmz... Just bath out. Im so damn fcuking tired, yesterday around 2pluz den fall asleep. Lesson start at 9am, 1030am den reach sch. lol. Dismiss for lunch break at 12pluz went to outside sch brought bubble tea & food to void deck eat, around 1pluz went back to class and continues our theroy lesson. Dismiss at around 3pluz, walk to interchange with jy took mrt to bugis and wait for jan come, shop around bugis till around 7pluz took mrt back Bedok alone. Reach home around 8pm, have my dinner & went to bath and watching tv. Tuesday, October 21, 2008 Hmmz... Just bath out. Actually JiaHween lesson start at 12pm today but no S.W in the morning so jiahween push her lesson to in the morning 9am! Lesson start at 9am, 9am den wake up. lol. Jiahween teach all the way till 11pluz, no lunch break. After sch, went to outside sch buy bubble tea and noodles taobao to void deck eat and chat with jy and jan till around 12pluz went to bugis wanna buy pants but when wanna go bugis street receive a cal from mummy ask me go home and bring her go Tampines polyclines for x-ray, took mrt and rush back bedok interchange and took 168 to tampines polyclines meet mummy, after x-ray took back 168 to tampines giant brought jenson milk adn took 168 back bedok Home Sweet Home. Reach home around 6pm wait for mummy cook and went down carry jenson back Home Sweet Home=). Sianz! On the 28.11.08 is JiaHween test. On the 31.11.08 is Mryar test again. Arrrhhh, so many test so fcuking stress! God, please give me the wisdom to study hard and give alll friends pass well for the test with flying colour=). I shall stop here, i gg watch baskeball fire. hehe. Monday, October 20, 2008 Hmmz... Just reach home! Practica lesson start at 9am, wake up at 830am and walk to sch. After doin finish my thing chat with weeboon and mryar till around 11am, it was raining heavily ran out to buy bubble tea and walk to bus stop wait for jy den ran back to sch canteen and have my lunch with jy and jan till around 1230pm, went up to class and continues theroy lesson. Finish lesson at 1pluz, stay in class chat with teacher den actually wanna go dhoht ghaut IP Zone buy pant but den accampany mummy go polyclines see doctor, after accampnay mummy see doctor wanna go down city hall meet Eddie and karhoon watch movie but den the movie start very late around 7pluz, den went to NTUC buy Jenson pampers and went back home. Yeah, yeah tmr no S.W so that my whole body would pain here pain there=). Should i sell for phone for 200buckz? I brought it for 300pluz! Should i sell my psp for 20buckz for keep it?I was being cheated brought it for 400buckz! Sunday, October 19, 2008 Hmmz.. Fcuk! Friend are selfish even family! SUX! Oh ya, anyway i not ur dog or ur maid that u can ask me do thiis do that, to let u shout at or bully!.. IM A HUMAN BEING TOO! Friday, October 17, 2008 Hmmz... Why does time pass so quickly! How i wish time could just stop there and dun move at those happy memory with u all. Haiiz1 It again friday! Just reach home! Today lesson start at 8am, 8am den wake up. Haha. Took 225 to Bedok interchange and walk to bus stop say jy and jan, took bus 222 to sch tgr. Around 9pluz was dismiss for lunch, went to canteen taobao chicken rice to outside sch void deck with jy, kj, jan and dolphin eat, joke and chat till around 10pluz went back to sch continue the lesson. Today lesson dismiss at 11pluz, took 197 to parkway giant buy baskaball fire, heard form my sis that it only 14buckz for part 1 and par1 2 cheaper then Plaza Singapura so actually wanna buy de, but when i reach there i saw is 22buckz waste my bus fare go down parkway i thought it was so cheap than Plaza Singapura i rather go down dhoht ghaut buy only 20buckz lorx, den walk around giant and buy some tibits and walk to bus stop took 196 back Bedok interchange and walk back Home Sweet Home. Haiiz! Sianz! Thursday, October 16, 2008 Hmmz... Just finish eating my dinner! Why why why everynitez i keep crying and crying non-stop and keep thinking that every fcuking trouble that i've create, why cant i stop thinking and stop crying everynitez and sleep well!!! Haiiz! Arrrhhh! So damn tired yesterday watch tv to 11.30 till fall asleep and today sleep till 12pm cant get up and have breakfast with mummy and relative at market=(After work around 5pm, help mummy pay those bill at machine and walk to mrt to lakeside meet jy and jan and walk to jurong point CD shop see how much is the basketball fire den took mrt back Bedok Wednesday, October 15, 2008 Err... Just come back home. yesterday cant sleep dunno why keep crying and crying everynitez since thiis trouble fcuking thing is up! Something dunno why dun feel like gg sch! Why time passes so fcuking fast! Haiiz! Today lesson start at 9am. Was awake my sis and alarm clock at 8am, went back to sleep till around 830am. Took bus to Bedok Interchange walk to bus stop saw jy, kj, jan, tina and mini and took bus 222 to sch tgr. Actually first lesson is Lifeskill but den have change to in the afternoon 3pm, so went to JiaHwee lesson till around 10pluz went to canteen and have our lunch with mini, tina, kj, jy and jan, break for half & hour went back to class continues our lesson till around 12pluz because another class is waiting outside wanna use the lab, JiaHwee lesson was dismiss at 12pluz ask Missapril to bring forward the lesson till around 1pluz went to outside sch slack went to buy bubble tea and slack awhile till 2pluz took 222 back to Bedok Interchange and took mrt to dhougt ghaut and watch kj and jy play audition till around 5pluz took mrt back Bedok Interchange and took bus 225 back Home Sweet Home and went to 7th floor carry Jenson Back Home Sweet Home! Haiiz! Wo na yi dian bi bu shang wo de peng you! wei she mo, wo xi huan de ren ta zhong shi XI HUAN WO DE PENG YOU! If not, my friend are being taken away! Why is my life like thiis!! Why is the God treating like thiis! ARRRHHH. Why everything is so unfair to me! Haiiz! Forget it! Happy jiu hao! Rest well ba=). I shall stop here, I gonna have my dinner soon!. Memories really make ppl cry & sad... Tuesday, October 14, 2008 I watch the rain as it drips off my fingers, I feel no pain but still your memory lingers, I guess everything's o.k I stand silent, waiting for the memories to fade, My feelings run violent, I've never been so afraid, Life gets colder every day. Lost and alone in a world I never knew before, I was growing older with you but you're not here anymore, Into the darkness I fall and there I lay. Curled in a corner, away from view, I've lost all I had, all I had was you, Without you my life will never be the same Thinking of you near me, I slowly drift to sleep, My dreams are haunted by my fears, I start again to weep, Every night I wake and scream out your name. Err... Nothing much about today! Just finish eating my dinner! Today P.E start at 1030, 8am was awake by 7th floor aunty knock the door carry Jenson down and Jie went to work. Went back to sleep untill 9am, awke up my alarm clock and went back to sleep again sleep till around 930 awake by jass call. Took bus to interchange, went to top up my card and saw jy and kj den walk to bgus stop took 222 to sch tgr. Play badminton with jy and kj till around 11 pluz, went outside sch taobao food and bubble tea to void deck eat with mini, wahab, jan, jy and kj and slack till around 1pluz, went back to sch and have the next lesson JiaHwee but she is not in singapore so Mryar take over and dismiss us at 1pluz sit at the class use comp till around 2pm becuase Mryar not free so we have to leave at 2pm. After lesson went to outside sch void deck slack till 3pm, took bus to interchange took 60 to Bedok Revoire 601 candy house downstair slack till around 5pluz took bus 60 back Bedok interchange, took bus 225 to Sheng Shiong meet mummy buy something and help her carry back home. Reach home around 6pluz went down to 7th floor carry jenson back Home Sweet Home! Haiiz! Monday, October 13, 2008 Hmmz... Just reach home from sch, sitting infront of the comp listening to song and update my blog! Nothing much about today! Lesson start at 9am, wake up at 8pluz! Wanna save my bus fare for gg out, slowly walk to sch! Around 10pluz was dismiss for lunch, went outside 7-eleven buy food and bubble tea to void deck have our lunch and took some pic with jy and kj and slack till 1pm went back to sch and continue our lesson! Dismiss at around 2pluz, took bus to interchange and slowly walk back home! Pic will upload one day! Haiiz! Another two week five day, phase test is coming soon! And another 7week, exam is coming! Sianz! Stress ah! Arrrhhh!!! God, please give me the wisdom study hard and pass weell for my phase test and exam! Haiiz! Why everything is my faulth! Between friend too, in home too! Why cant u all understand how i feel! Im a human being i feel wthat ever human feel too! Dunno why i dun feel like talking to anyone unless got important thing and unless the person come talk to me den just reply to him/her ! Sorry! If talk to me or cal me on the street i never ans becuase i listening to song damn loud cant heard! Why everytime thing happen one me!!! My mind is in the whril! Saturday, October 11, 2008 Hmmz... Yesterday stay at home alone till in the evening 5pluz went to blk 525 play bball with shixuan, chianah and her bf des till around 8am and Home Sweet Home! Long time didn't play bball le, play untill whorld body pain and my leg "qi bao"! Reach home have a rush dinner and accampany mummy go see dotcor! Hmmz today in the morning 5pluz, was awake by my sis help her find mummy passport to fill in job form, after mummy went to work went back to sleep till around 9pluz suddenly wake up and cant get back to sleep le =(! Went to prepare and walk to interchange took bus 9 to semei take my phone and took bus 9 back bedok and took 225 home take my memory card and battery! Walk to interchange buy bubble tea and went to bus 196 meet joanne, karhoon, dom , kennath, jinhao and jon to east coast. Reach east coast, went o sit at the big stone chat while waiting for ganpoh come go rent bike. Ride to Bedok Jetty rest awhile and rent to other end PlayGround rest ahile and ride back returd the bike and went to acarde play Tekken with karhoon. Haha Eddie, we will win u de one day=)! slack till around 5pluz took bus 401 to Haker Centre and have our dinner. After eating walk to bus stop took bus 196 and back Bedok Interchange accampany karhoon to Ntuc buy something and chat and walk back home. Reach home around 7pluz. Haiiz! Sch gonna reopen on monday! Dunno why thiis time i feel that holiday is so short not enought for me! Sch reopen another three week gonna have a test soon. God, please give me the wisdom to pass my test with flying colour! Thursday, October 9, 2008 Hmmz... Today start work at 12pm. Took mrt to TiongBahru with karhoon control station meet Eddie and my work group friend but Eddie over slept, went to TiongBahru plaza "Qi ji" have our lunch with my work group friend. After eating went to outside TiongBahru plaze meet Eddie and work to work place together! Finish work at 3pluz, went to bugis acarde with Eddie and karhoon play Teken till around 6pluz took bus 197 back Bedok with karhoon. Reach home around 7pluz amd have my Dinner. Haiiz! Why holiday dun wan longer, so that 22th i can continue again. I miss my officers and group friend. Sianz! Hope next year get to the same group again! Wednesday, October 8, 2008 Hmmz... Nothing much about yesterday! Start work at 12pm. No lunch break. Morning cal Eddie to wake him up make a silce of bread for us. Anyway, Thankk=). As usual took bus to interchange walk to mrt platform meet karhoon, took mrt to Tiong Bahru control station meet Eddie and walk to work place. Finiah work at 4pluz took mrt and Home Sweet Home and have my dinner straight. I was damn damn hungry lorx, morning didn't eat den afternoon only eat one silce of bread untill now! Today start work at 10am, wanna save my bus fare, wake up early at 7am, walk to interchange mrt platform wait for karhoon to TiongBahru. No lunch break, must have a heavy breakfast before go work, so meet Eddie 9am at control station but den he wake up late cant have breakfast with us, so went to eat Mac with karhoon, After eating sit at mac wait for Eddie come and walk to work place. Joke around at work room with all those grp work friend. Haiiz! One day early den one day, cant earn lots! Finally work at 2pluz went to acarde walk around den walk around TiongBahru plaza thinking of wat to eat for our late lunch den finally make the decided to have our late lunch at KFC, chat and joke around. Took mrt to Dhaugt Ghaut meet my sis and mummy, sis went to sign her contract and i bring mummy to PS walk walk, i saw a new release VCD "Lan Qiu Huo" Part 1 & 2 =20buckz, i was thinking, Should i buy or Should i Not?!! Wait my sis to sign finish her contract around 5pluz took mrt back Home Sweet Home. Haiiz! Sad! Tmr is last day, i miss my officers in-charge and all those grp work friends. Hope will work again with the same officers and grp work friend! Haha. Monday, October 6, 2008 Hmmz... Firstly, Happy 20th Birthday to Gary & Happy 17th Birthday to kennath. Just come back from work and just eaten my dinner. My eye are closing but just cant get to sleep yesterday, watch tv till 1pm force myself to sleep. Today start work at 10am, meet karhoon 9am at bedok platform den took mrt to Tiong Bahru control station wait for Eddie, walk to work place. Work haven come yet so the officers dismiss us early for lunch, went to lunch with Eddie, karhoon, and two new friend at around 10+am till 11+am walk back work place. Whooz today dismiis damn early 3pm, after work went to bugis junction play acarde with Eddie and karhoon till around 6pm went to buy something eat and sit outside mac eat and took mrt back Bedok with karhoon, wanna save bus fare so walk back home with karhoon. Reach home around 7pm, just nice for me to watch tv. Haha. Haiiz! Nobody will understand me! Nobody will know i feel! Haiiz! Fine den, forget it! Sunday, October 5, 2008 Hmmz.. Haiiz! Thought runing thru my mind. Whenever i think bout it, i feel like crying because disappointment and sadness is actually what i'm feeling but i wonder why i'm always look upon as a bad person cause of my anger. life is never fair ya?! i think you guys have to agree with me! communication is never right with different people's thinking, and it's always the bad one getting what they shouldn't deserve! I've a bad temper. but of cause you don't see me angry all the time, it's only when my patience really run out already or something too much happened. otherwise, i'm always pressing myself laughing and behaving like a siao char bo among my friends.. I dun wish too =(! why am i angry? because i'm disappointed. but when i'm angry, i use harsh words. i use vulgarities, and all these cover up my disappointment which what my heart is feeling. that's why.. Haiiz! Is all my faulth! I make both of u break off! I shouldn't give you her number! Nothing will happen! And i shouldn't say all out! I'll always be a bad person. nobody really understand me. i think it's pointless ba. when such things happen, they won't think or understand how you felt. or maybe think what you have done for them. i'm really speechless. but i still can't hide within myself, i really have to blog it down. feeling very much worst & i've no one to talk to. when i was blogging down and thinking about this every nitez, i cried. yes, but i kept hid my tears away. i feel that sometimes, having 1 good friend is all you ever need. really! you tell her, she tell you, problems you call her, she got problems she call you. you know she can trust you, you know you can trust her. concentrating on 1 good friend, no conflicts. & at least you know she really appreciate whatever you've done for her and you'll feel the joy whenever she buys you lil surprises, even willing to spare mins or secs just to hear you out, be your listening ear. almost everday texting each other, about anything and everything under the sun. randomness but it's a way showing our bondness! When i was home, i felt even more depress, adding on into my mind now. i don't know why but my heart sank. i all along didn't dare to think so much. I also believe and hope that time will heal me, get rid of all these shit. i think, i'll be fine. as strong as ever? I can only blog all my feelings down and this is the first time i've type such long! Hmmz... My eye are closing but i just cant get to sleep.Haiiz! It's all my faulth! Friday, October 3, 2008 Hmmz... All thankk to the person who intro me thiis job=). Today is the first days of work, haha im so happy got money earn! Today have to report to work place at 10am, wake up at 8am, took bus to Bedok interchange meet karhoon at mrt platform to Tiong Bahru control station meet Eddie den walk to work place. When we reach the work the place. we were all start at the security for half and hour slowly lot of lot of people were at stuck at the security, finally the Kelly service guy come and take our attendence den finally we can get in. Went up the the hall den they divide us into diff dute, Eddie were diff dute with me and karhoon. For ue lunch, walk to TiongBahru eat long john adn walk back to walk place. After work, rush down to tamp meet chianah and shixuan to huiping house and celebrate her baby 1month till 8pluz and took bus Home Sweet Home with shixuan. Reach home around 9pluz. Take Good Care of urself=) Meet out one day alright=)!
But baby, where they knock you down and out Is where you oughta stay